As people who believe that we are walking representatives of all those who hae gone before us, I wonder if we ever consider how those in whose name we walk feel about us. Do they regret the choice they have made or are they proud to be associated with us. This is something I often consider especially when introducing myself to those who do not know me, when having to speak to people who will perhaps be hearing me for the first time.
Will the message I carry be the message that my elders would want me to carry or do I carry myself as one who does not have abantu abadala? This is an intriguing issue especially when you consider that there are people who get "over powered" by a spirit and behave in a particular manner which is different to the way they would were they not impassioned by this particular spirit. Do we walk in truth always? Conscious of the fact that there is no corner to hide in when one believes in amaDlozi. When you "lose" control over this person who walks in the world of the physical, are you comfortable that the temporary you will not contradict this you that is out there everyday?
Maybe I'm rambling, but I believe that those of you reading this who have also questioned this dual identity that we as iZangoma walk around with, will here what it is I am actually asking. Are you in your Sangoma mode, the same as you the mother/father/brother/sister/spouse/partner? Is the advise that you pass on to others an advice that you would take and implement yourself? If the answer is yes, good for you. If it's no, then you have a problem and if you don't know then you are just like me and acknowledge your own weaknesses.
I have been taught that a heart and mind that are always seeking, are the one's which will eventually arrive at an approximation of the truth. If you tell yourself that you know all that there is to know, then you will never grow beyond where you are.
Question, seek the truth, ask and always remember that having amaDlozi is a permanent state. It is not something you put on and take off depending on the outfit you are wearing for the day. It is not something that you can choose to be depending on the mood that you are in. It is who and what you are. When you speak, whatever "mode" you are in, you represent all those who are with you whether you see them or not, whether you acknowledge them or not.
This also means that we should always be listening and watching for the messages that are being sent our way.
